Embedded Files
I. Loving God, following Jesus Christ, and being guided by the Holy Spirit; living a life of discipleship.
II. Praying actively and nurturing spiritual practices.
III. Being called to ordained ministry by God and the Church.
IV. Continuing discernment of one’s call in community.
V. Understanding the power of the Holy Spirit at work through the elements of Christian worship to nurture faith.
VI. Exhibiting a commitment to lifelong spiritual development and faithful personal stewardship.
I. Loving God, following Jesus Christ, and being guided by the Holy Spirit
Embodying the Love of God
On the fourth Wednesday of each month*, you can almost always find me at the local ICE (U.S. Immigrations and Customs Enforcement) office in Knoxville, along with other members of my congregation and parishioners from a local Catholic church. As people show up for their required ICE “check-ins,” we try to be the first and last thing they see – a group of people, smiling and holding a sign that proclaims LOVE THY NEIGHBOR/AMA A TU PROJIMO. We also offer hot drinks in the winter and cool drinks in the summer as well as fruit, cookies, and sometimes winter coats or umbrellas. The same scene, with different people from different faith communities happens every Wednesday and now, every Thursday to welcome those coming for ankle monitor checks.
This ministry began in April 2018, after the ICE raid on a meat-packing company in Bean Station that threw many undocumented workers into the deportation process. Appalled at the treatment of our undocumented neighbors and looking for ways to help, people of faith started to show up at headquarters as witnesses and advocates for the people caught up in the raid. As it became increasingly obvious, no humane provisions would be made for those waiting in long lines to obey summons letters. They weren’t allowed inside the building, so a long line formed outside; no protection from rain, snow, or blazing sun was provided. People couldn’t leave the line to sit with small children and babies, not even heavily pregnant women. There were no restrooms provided-and the closest one is about a mile away at a McDonald’s restaurant.
Word began to spread within and among congregations about these conditions; “Witnessing Wednesdays” was born. Lay leaders and clergy from 9 churches set up a rotation schedule and a loosely defined mission statement: our role was not to protest, but rather to stand in solidarity with our undocumented neighbors and with those awaiting court dates for asylum cases. We wanted to let them know that not everyone would treat them as harshly as the ICE officers often did. We wanted to show that we welcome them to our communities and did so as people of faith, thus the purchase and display of our “Love thy neighbor” banners.
When I first began to show up on “our” Wednesday mornings at 8:30 am, I did so out of a sense that I was fighting injustice, albeit in an indirect way. On my first day, I challenged a county police officer who was stationed to control parking and, I suspect, to dissuade us from gathering. I smiled, held one end of the banner and waved at people. By my third Witnessing Wednesday, my concept of what I was doing -and why I was doing it - had begun to shift. Because I don’t speak Spanish, I was hesitant to hand out drinks, but I decided to give it a try. As I waved people over to offer drinks and snacks, I saw faces full of confusion, anxiety, and fear. As I tried to communicate in the few Spanish phrases I had learned, I saw those faces begin to open up. As I smiled and reassured them that the snacks were free, I saw those faces break into answering smiles of understanding.
My perception shifted that day: I was not there to challenge the behavior of ICE officers nor to fight injustice. I was there to embody the love of God for each person I met. Whether that meant holding the banner, encouraging little ones to take some cookies, or giving information about local resources to their parents, I would do it. One Wednesday, it was windy and colder than usual so some of us had brought coats and gloves to hand out. Someone else had brought a large case of “matchbox cars” to share with anyone who wanted them. I offered one or more to each child who came to the table for hot chocolate; most took a car along with their cookies. One little boy was very shy; he looked at the cars longingly but wouldn’t choose one. Throughout the morning, I would see him looking toward us. When I waved, he would quickly look away. Then, he began to wave back and, later, to smile. We began to make silly faces at each other and laugh from a distance. Finally just as his family was leaving, he ran over and hugged my legs…and chose two toy cars to take home. His mother took a jacket with her too. I think the best gift they got that day was a sense of welcome and of God’s love shining out through my broken Spanish. I know I felt the love of God radiating from that little face turned up toward mine.
WITNESSING WEDNESDAYS
WITNESSING WEDNESDAYS
This is one of my first "Witnessing Wednesdays" at the Knoxville ICE offices.
Trusting Jesus Christ
When I made the decision to return to Christianity, I had to fully trust Jesus that I would find a church community that welcomed me. Even thinking about walking into a church caused me anxiety. Although I tried to research each church’s views on LGBTQ+ Christians before visiting, there was still the chance that individual members would scorn my presence. Fortunately (or unfortunately for the LGBT community), I could only find two churches that I was assured would welcome me, thus eliminating the excruciating act of walking into sanctuary after sanctuary and feeling unwelcome.
Once I found and joined “my” community, I trusted Jesus as I began to share my authentic self in Bible study groups; showing my vulnerability did not come easily, especially in religious settings. After a couple of years, I trusted Jesus when I accepted a council position as Deacon for Congregational Care and when I began to teach Sunday school and lead youth group. I had so much fear inside: fear that parents would not want me to teach their children or serve as chaperone on mission trips because I am openly gay. By that time, I had been reassured by both word and deed that I was welcomed and valued, yet my past wounds had been inflicted so deeply that I still had difficulty internalizing those reassurances.
When I began to answer my call to authorized ministry, I trusted the voice of Jesus when other voices said I was not worthy to teach or preach or lead. Every step of the way, I have placed my trust in Jesus; otherwise, I would never have even started this journey. As I’ve comforted and affirmed others who have been hurt by religious trauma, as I’ve taught young people that their friends are wrong when they claim to know the only way to God, as I’ve re-interpreted scripture that has long been used to harm and oppress God’s children-I have trusted that Jesus is leading and that I am following in my flawed, yet holy, humanity.
Openness to the Spirit (and IV. Continuing Discernment to My Call in Community)
As I began to discern my calling, I felt reasonably sure that I would make a good chaplain. After all, I am open to other faith traditions and others’ beliefs; I have experienced some fairly serious illnesses; I can empathize with others who have experienced trauma. Plus, I did not have the qualities needed to work in parish ministry. I was an introvert who was nervous at the mere thought of speaking in front of even a few people; I didn’t have the necessary leadership skills and experience; I had led a life that many would consider unbecoming of a pastor; my litany of reasons went on from there. Yet, even before I started seminary, I was described by friends as “the pastor of the group” and affirmed by fellow congregants in my nascent attempts to read scripture or lead prayer during worship services.
I applied to Lexington Theological Seminary as preparation for ministry, naming chaplaincy as my calling and feeling mostly certain that my discernment would lead me there. After a plethora of signs placed in front of me that included seminary professors pointing out my “pastoral qualities” in groups, church members affirming my teaching and writing skills, and my own heart pulling me toward faith-based social justice work, I opened my mind and soul to true discernment of my particular ministry path. I had to let go of my own plans and fears and make way for the Spirit to lead me-an uncomfortable place for me to be. When I stepped into the discomfort and let go of my preconceived notions, I began to recognize the quiet voice of the Holy Spirit in my life and in my vocational calling.
I am now serving as Minister for Youth and Children, providing pulpit supply and pastoral care as needed, standing for my faith community in justice actions- all the things that I would never have imagined myself doing at the beginning of my seminary education. Who knows what the Spirit will dream for me in the future? I pray that I remain open and willing to step into my discomfort and fears and follow!
II. Praying actively and nurturing spiritual practices
The Celtic Body Prayer is a spiritual practice that welcomes those who do not always feel drawn to verbal prayer, either privately or corporately. This practice recognizes the embodiment aspect of Christianity while allowing for sacred connection. I feel that using one’s body to pray or praise can help break us out of what may have become rote and unsatisfying. This practice can also help create spiritual connection by inviting us to be vulnerable, to close our eyes and move our bodies in the presence of others.
To lead or practice the Celtic Body Prayer, these prompts are helpful:
First, clasp your hands and bow as if in greeting or welcoming the Holy One. Then, raise your arms above your head with your hands open as if to be blessed. Next, bring your arms down and cross them over your chest as if to accept the blessings for yourself. Then, open your arms out to your sides to bless the world. Finally, lower your arms and “rest.” Repeat these movements silently three times, at your own pace.
I have seen this practice work well for children and youth groups in my local church. Some middle and high school-aged youth have been “in church” their whole young lives and let words flow by without grasping their meaning; they may experience corporate prayer as soothing, but not “personal.” Some elementary aged children obediently bow their heads and close their eyes-and wonder when this will be over! Yet other children simply learn and absorb more through movement than through listening or speaking. Younger children are usually more open to trying this practice; they are less inhibited about making large motions with their bodies! Youth groups can require more encouragement. I sometimes use humor to get them to feel more comfortable and participate.
Using the Celtic Body Prayer has helped our children and youth to learn a prayer practice that is meaningful for them, to understand prayer as connection with the sacred, and to feel more creative freedom in finding spiritual practices for themselves. Since we have been meeting virtually for some time now, using the Celtic Body Prayer helps us to feel that we are fully in each other’s presence and together in the presence of the Holy.
Celtic Body Prayer
Celtic Body Prayer
Pandemic Sunday School-primary class practicing the Celtic Body Prayer
III. Being Called to Ordained Ministry by God...
One of my favorite call stories in scripture is that of the apostle Paul. This was a man who persecuted Jewish people who followed Jesus-and seemed to relish their suffering. He was probably the last person that Jesus-followers would have expected to be called by God to spread the Gospel story! Because of his utter disregard for Jesus, his transformation was dramatic-struck down by a blinding light and sent on a journey that required absolute obedience. Once he accepted his calling, he was further tested by being sent away from his own people (whom he had persecuted mightily) to preach to the Gentiles, outsiders and "others" to the Jewish people.
I am drawn to Paul's transformation and his charge to preach to those considered "other" by his community, perhaps because I (verbally) persecuted Christians and the church for most of my young adult life. Unlike Paul, I strongly disliked Jesus-followers because I had been deeply wounded by church communities in my youth. I found plenty to denigrate in Fundamentalist Christianity-blind following of preachers and male leaders, unsophisticated literal reading of scriptures, hatred and "othering" of LGBTQIA folks, and aversion to science among those reasons. Because of my family of origin and small southern town upbringing, I did not quite realize that "fundamentalist" was a qualifier-that there existed UNfundamentalist Christians. I attended college for 2 years in another very small town, then transferred to a larger university-both still in the so-called Bible Belt. Neither place gave me reason to think about the existence of progressive Christian churches; I still was not aware that they existed and was still too hurt to want to consider, anyway.
Eventually, years later and after mental health therapy, I had a conversion experience that involved light, albeit sunlight that was not blinding, and the voice of God. This experience led me to search out a progressive Christian church where I would be extravagantly welcomed and my vocational calling would be affirmed and supported. Like Paul, my transformation was dramatic! My friends were shocked by it (except those who had known me as a Jesus-loving child). Also like Paul, I am called to bring the good news of God's boundless love to those whom conservative Christianity have "othered" and alienated: LGBTQIA folks for sure, but also folks who just cannot swallow what most churches in our area dish out-people who are named un-Christian because they believe in women as church leaders, the full humanity of all God's children, or a plethora of other theological stances that are denied by conservative Christian churches. The similarities stop there, though. I have not left my home and traveled selflessly to convert people to Christianity, nor will I be remembered as Paul has been. I am fine with that! There are plenty of people right where I am who need to hear my story, especially the young people with whom I serve!
...and the Church
The church community that nurtured me as a "new" Christian, called me to lay leadership and service 2 years later, and supported me through my seminary years has also testified to my call by God many times over the years. They submitted letters of reference and support of my call when I became a Member in Discernment, kindly critiqued my early attempts at exegesis and preaching, and accepted me as a pastoral care giver. Then, almost five years ago, they called me to work on staff with the church's youth and children; talk about affirming my call! Last year, they added Social Media Coordinator to my title and duties.
This church community entrusted their children's Christian education to my hands, allowed me to discuss hard topics with their young people, and accepted my leadership on many levels. Most recently, they asked me to help represent this church to the wider community via social media and our website, a task that had a large learning curve for me but that I have learned to enjoy and use to further our church's missions and ministry.
...and the community
I have also felt my call to ordained ministry affirmed by the larger community. I've been asked to plan and officiate several funerals or memorial services of loved ones by people who are un-churched and know of my ministry. It is an honor that I do not undertake lightly, especially since I may be the "face" of the Church for those attending.
I have also seen a need for wedding officiants for same gender couples who want to marry in a Christian church or with a Christian minister. Since I am not yet ordained, I have referred those who contact me to Rev. John Gill or one other pastor at an Open and Affirming local church. However, before the Covid 19 pandemic, John planned and officiated more weddings than in any other year of his ministry-and could not do all that he was asked to do! For two of those ceremonies, I assisted John because it was important to those being married that an LGBTQIA minister was involved. Those couples who felt that my presence and voice were needed (along with those whom I had to turn away) affirmed my call and journey to ordained ministry for me.
V. Understanding the power of the Holy Spirit at work through the elements of Christian worship to nurture faith.
Like many of my friends and colleagues, I experience the beauty of God outdoors, in nature as well as in other people. I love to bring pieces of nature to the altar when preparing for worship services: stones, shells, branches, wildflowers, dried vines, (empty) birds' nests. I also love using human-made artistic representations and fabrics, objects I've collected on my travels or that I've been given, something the children made in Kid's Camp. Even in the simple actions of gathering objects of natural beauty from outdoors and combining them with the products of people's creativity, I often feel the presence of the Holy Spirit. It's as if though even the preparation for worship invites the Holy, if I am present and mindful. (See below for examples of altars.)
Staying with the visual aspect of Christian worship, I have wanted to find a way to display art that depicts diverse artists' reaction to the week's scripture, something that changes throughout the service and from week to week or with the liturgical seasons- perhaps slides, projected onto a screen or wall. I am passionate about bringing multicultural Christian images into our collective presence. So far, I have used social media as the vehicle, but I feel that it could be a fruitful addition to the multisensory experience of worship. For me, extravagant welcome doesn't just mean that we invite people in to worship; it also means creating space for different ways of accessing the Holy and for people to see their stories represented. As the architects of worship services, we need to ask ourselves: if most of our hymns and choir choices are from white European cultures-if our art is traditional-if our liturgy stifles the movement of the Spirit, are we truly welcoming people who don't necessarily respond to our "style of worship"? I think not. I believe that multisensory, multiculturally representative worship is essential to offering extravagant welcome.
I learned about multicultural, multiethnic worship from a webinar series by Rev. Jacqueline Lewis of Middle Collegiate Church. She helped me understand the difference between cultural appropriation and cultural appreciation in the design of worship. When asked "should a predominantly white church choir sing African American spirituals?" Rev. Lewis responded with an emphatic "yes!" To paraphrase her explanation: appreciate it, learn from it it, attribute it, acknowledge its source and culture, but yes-sing it.
So, besides the visual aspects of the altar and art, our music should also invite people to open their hearts and worship God. For some, this may mean quiet, contemplative, and classical. For others, it may mean contemporary praise and worship music. For still others, it may be a folk song accompanied by guitar. A black gospel song can break me wide open to experience the Holy! Then there's movement-from liturgical dancers to a congregation swaying on their feet to a hymn, from walking to the table for communion to passing the peace, movement can be inviting. We sometimes forget the power of smell; it can evoke memories, remind us of our breath as we inhale and exhale, and help us be fully present. We can use incense or candles, scented oils to anoint, fresh air flowing through. Of course, not every worship service will lend itself to everything I've mentioned, nor would I want that. It is the openness to different styles of worship and the intention to use all our senses that are important. I assess worship's spiritual and multisensory impact through the lens of extravagant welcome: have I designed a service that has given space for everyone present to be open to the Spirit, to be able to see or hear their own stories? Have I engaged all the senses in a coherent narrative for that day?
1) The Way of Jesus
(Banner from Church of the Savior, Alpharetta GA)
2) Greenery from Church Grounds
Cloth from a trip to Guatemala
3) Driftwood, Pebbles, and Live Plants
1) The Way of Jesus altar features fabric draped over steps to the floor (green for grass, brown for the path), river rocks, and green candles. The banner came from Church of the Savior in Alpharettta Ga, brought by Deborah Cliburn when she moved to Knoxville; we treasure this connection! The circle of people holding hands is a special symbol to our congregation, as well as the scripture that encircles them from Isaiah 58.
2) The greenery consists of nandina branches and berries, leaves from a Japanese maple tree, and a single magnolia blossom from the COS Memorial Garden; the cloth came from a Faith Leaders' Pilgrimage to Central America in 2015.
3) The driftwood has been used many times, as have the small pebbles, in different configurations. Live potted plants are often clustered around the altar.
VI. Exhibiting a commitment to lifelong spiritual development and faithful personal stewardship.
I serve on staff at Church of the Savior UCC in Knoxville, TN, mainly working with youth and children and coordinating our social media presence. Although those are my main focuses, I also help design and lead worship often and give the meditation occasionally.
As part of our worship services during the Season after Epiphany and the Season of Lent, we are offering different spiritual practices for folks to try with us (virtually). For our pre-recorded worship service on 2/28/2021, I shared more about the Body Prayer as a discipline that I find to be centering and healing and helps me be open to the presence of the Holy. A few years ago, I learned about visioning or imaging prayers; they seemed related to the body prayer in that both are using other parts of our consciousness to connect with the Holy. From that idea, I developed a prayer practice that combines the two to create a way to hold others up to God for healing-an intercessory prayer. I offered it to the congregation recently as part of our spiritual practice focus. Here is a link to the video from that virtual worship service:
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